Olives and Shy Bladders.... Tell me more.

I wasn't going to do this meeting's update quite frankly because there was so much going on and way too much tomfoolery to adequately report on; however, the beauty of the blog is other people can chime in and fill in any blanks I left out. So, without further adieu....
Stardate - August 10th, 2007: Crew meeting #28... Location: Michelle's apartment.
Where to start.... well, for starters, this meeting wound up being a "night of many firsts" as it were. It was the first time Michelle had hosted a Coffee Crew meeting (and did an absolutely awesome job in the process, by the way, despite the weather turning sour and having to spend it indoors, which was not the original plan) It was the first time Michelle's theatre friend Tim joined us, having heard rumors of the existence of this illusive secret society called the Coffee Crew and wanting in. Also, it was the first time Linda joined us as a newlywed member of society, although her other half could not make it in this particular night. Steve, Rich Joe and myself rounded out the count for a total of seven members; not a first, but impressive nonetheless.
We started off the night presenting Linda with a book created by yours truly in honor of her new marital status. (small little plug: I love Shutterfly!) then we moved on to the eats. Michelle had a gorgeous spread of different foods from a local Italian place (Michelle can enlighten us as to the name of the restaurant, giving another shameless plug), with personal-sized pizzas, sauteed spinach, salad, garlic bread, and I'm sure some other stuff I missed. Being the new guy at the meeting, we had to insist Tim sit on the floor this time around, as dictated by the rules and practices of ancient Coffee Crew Tradition we just made up on the spot. Really, it had nothing to do with the fact that there weren't enough chairs....
Jumping right into the readings, Rich started us off with a short play he wrote depicting a revelation concerning his massive sci-fi and comic book collection and the subsequent purging of much it. As in the past, we divied up the speaking parts between the crewers and acted out the scenes amongst much hilarious laughter. Naturally, I get the one part I absolutely CAN'T do, much to the amusement of the others. (Yes, I've seen Planet of the Apes, but apparently Dr. Zaius does NOT sound like a megalomaniacal version of Christopher Lloyd hellbend on the total destruction of the human race.. who knew?)
Next up was Michelle who read another Twilight Zone-esque essay about a vacationing woman in France who happens by a ring store, stops in and has a strange conversation with the mysterious owner, leading to a complimentary ring. (If I go into any more detail than that, I may as well just re-publish the entire essay..) After that was Steve, who once again read an entry from his blog (which I still consider cheating) entitled "Multi-faceted", about the way people generally refer to others as "That guy who.." or "that chick who.." when we are all so much more than a simple description. To learn more, visit Steve's Thymenage-Heart and Mind Blog (look it up, I'm too lazy to link it now..)
Lastly, I finally had a chance to read something after several Crew meetings of utter silence from the Paulanoma camp. What I wrote was not intended to be humorous to the recipient of the letter; however to us it was downright hysterical. It was a letter I wrote to the Board of Managers of my condo complex, complaining about an incident on Memorial Day in which a member of the board harassed me about the BBQ I was throwing (sidenote: in proofing this entry, I came across this sentence and instantly envisioned me grabbing my BBQ, picking it up over my head and violently throwing it into the street). Included in the reading was the response I eventually received from them in which they sidestepped and dodged every major point I made whilst replacing them with nonsensical jibberjabber, in a display that would make George W. proud.

"But Paul...... Olives and shy bladders.... tell me more!"
Yes, well, as is customary at these meetings, many tangents were went off on during conversation throughout the night. Among the varied topics of conversation: A mutual ex-friend of Michelle's and mine, whose paranoid nature prohibited us from using certain words around her (To which Rich randomly threw out the word "Olive!"; and by the way whose entry in this blog confirms her paranoidal suspicions that people talk about her behind her back). Bathroom etiquette was a big topic of conversation for some reason, including a sidebar by Tim about "shy bladders", a phrase which intrigued Steve to the point that he responded, "Shy Bladder..... tell me more." Thus Steve's place as the world's top straight-man was secured. Somewhere along the other conversations Steve also said something about not speaking french.. or ape, which somehow made Tim spit his mouthful of water all over Michelle, gaining him instant entry to future Coffee Crew meetings. According to Steve, that was also a first.
I believe this entry has become long enough, so I'll end it here. Feel free to fill in any gaps (or correct any errors) in my report of the night's activities. As a final word, I would just like to say one thing. Ass-juice.